Sunday, April 25, 2010

Nothing in particular, really

So, I dug my fingers deep into soil this weekend recovering a flower bed from an invasive hummingbird vine.   I used to like hummingbird vine much like I used to admire morning glories.  Not so much anymore. 

I am surprised at how little I sit down to write these days. I have many thoughts I've considered worthy of writing, but I don't.  I think letters to people, and I don't send them. I've abdicated my computer time to homework projects and my children's Facebook friends. 

My life is nothing like it was last spring at this time.  And I'm ever so glad in some ways. In others, not so much. Unknown awful things were happening to me and mine and those things are no longer on the table; this makes me grateful. I have flower beds not gardens. I have far fewer chores without goats kidding and baby chicks hatching. This does not make me happy, because there is nothing like waking up to fresh new leaping life compared to mundane suburb life.  I'm putting three of my children in day camp this summer, because I'll be working.  No more summer swim team, trips to the Cove, weekday overnights with me.  I hope I treasured those times enough while I had them.  I won't get a vacation until I've worked at this particular job for an entire year.  I suppose I'll just plan to make it a good one when that time rolls around summer next. 

I've prayerfully found a new church for my self. I asked God for thoughts and signs when I found just the right one, and He did not disappoint.  This past week, I met with a pastor and children's minister to talk turkey and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.  All looks promising there thanks to the good deed of a friend who put in a good word for me.  It will bring me great joy to have that opportunity again, and it has been one of my most severe losses over the last few months.  Maybe there'll come a day I'll be able to make it my life's full time work, but it's not valued like that in Knoxville as of yet.

Here's something which made me giggle all day yesterday.  I met Helen and her daughter for prom dress shopping.  On the way into the store, I passed a display of Spanx.  It actually crossed my mind that I could just give up trying to fit in exercise and just buy lots of undergarments instead.  What an incredibly goofy thought.

My farm is still for sale, but I gladly have caretakers there, so the land and home are getting the proper love she needs.

Clifford is in good shape.  A few things left I'd like to do like get a porch swing and change the frankenstein sink in my bathroom.

Still enjoying my job though I see big change on the horizon.  What will the future hold there?

I'm sharing much heartbreak in the lives of dear friends lately.  Perhaps it's just the time of life when things start falling to pieces?  Keeps me prayerful, humble, and awake.

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