I observed the thin and awkward 12 year old boy dressed in all black a while. His T-shirt had something full of bad attitude written on it. His hair obscured his eyes in hip wisps. He sauntered to the baseball field flipping the back of other's heads with his glove. He taunted players who weren’t performing with major league talent. He ignored his mother when she asked a question and then wouldn’t look her in the eye when she demanded a response. In fact, I don’t think I saw him look in anyone’s eyes. His overall demeanor of hunched shoulders and angry face screamed “Unpleasant!” to me. The arrogant and judging part of me thought, “I sure hope my boys avoid him like the plague.” And I confess I didn’t make any charitable assumptions about his mom either.

Fast forward another year. I ran into this family again, and I wondered if anything had changed for this young man. I thought about his mother and how difficult seeking relationships with other moms in the sometimes stuffy and perfectionist home school world would be with a difficult son.

The first I saw of him on this new day, he was gently redirecting his toddler sister away from her mother who was busy in another room. He talked softly and kindly guided the little one by the hand.

My hard heart toward this boy completely and profoundly turned on a dime with this simple action.

I watched a little longer and saw him smiling and genuinely playing, not taunting, with my children and other boys. I looked back over my first impression of him, and I felt grief. I decided then and there to find an opportunity to speak with his mother, “I noticed a change in your son. He was so tender with his little sister a while ago. He saw that you were occupied and took time to take care of her needs. He seems more connected these days.”

The mother’s face lit up like a firefly on a warm summer night, “Thank you for saying that!” In the same moment, she visibly opened herself to me. She sat more erect and spoke with confidence I hadn’t noticed before.

I’m sorry I do not look for the good in all people, people who might get under my skin for one unimportant reason or another, when I realize the good’s amazing power. It’s downright transforming what acknowledging the best in people can do.

What if I lived a more inspired life where every person is just as valuable as another? What if I stopped looking at faults and intentionally sought after positive qualities in others? What if I was forgiving like that? I‘d be the person I want to become.

My to-do list has me in a bad mood. I thought I could get one thing done a day, but it hasn't turned out that way.

So far today:

1. Buck and I emptied all three freezers, scraped out ice from the chest freezer walls and floor, inventoried all food items. I think we have at least one if not five of everything from the frozen section at Wal-mart, but it's all been so mysteriously buried under pizza rolls and multiple bags of ice. Buck thinks one should fill an unstuffed freezer with bags of ice to keep it efficient. All it's done for me is make me buy things from the store we already had.

2. I mowed the front acre. Buck mowed 2 more.

3. I went through the zillions of papers on my desk to separate four really important projects I need to keep on top of.

4. One of those projects has been pulling together the games for Reading Reflex to begin reading therapy with one boy and start Pooh Bear on something new. She so wants to read, but doesn't have the auditory memory or sequencing in place. The games involve copying a hundred, okay maybe forty pages from the book, cutting the pages into nauseating itty bitty pieces and labeling envelopes for each game. Tedious. I think I'll scream if I have to cut out the words Fat Cat Sat one more time. If there is a treacherous fire in my house tonight, I'm rescuing those envelopes before my beloved children, because I never want to cut anything out again. Ever.

5. Watered my lovely garden and flower beds. Finally dug out the organic bug killer from under the sink, so maybe I'll enjoy one bite of the cabbage and broccoli I'm growing. Slugs and catepillars have been well fed, gluttonous in fact, in my garden. We'll have sugar snap peas with dinner tonight, because slugs and catepillars are too gorged to bother my vines.

6. Called a bunch of Hauna's friends to invite them to a fortieth birthday party in a few weeks. Gave directions to my house a thousand and one times.

7. I'm sick of working on the ceiling repairs. I have a feeling all the sheet rock mud I put on is NOT going to look well done. I rounded up hammers, buckets, plastic floor cover, nails, putty knives, cordless screw driver drill and Buck put them up for a time I won't mind fiddling with fussy things.

8. I read over some documents I'm working on. I toyed with giving them my undivided attention and thought better of it considering my mood.

9. Made an animal chore list for Buck as he begins to train the children to take over the chores. Peace will be able to take over for Buck a few days of the week soon.

10. I rounded up materials to make a meal menu on my bed. Soon I'll snuggle up and take on that chore.

I smell something wonderful happening in the kitchen, because Buck is making Swiss Steak as we found oodles of cubed steak in the freezer.

They're Back

Wise One and Tator have safely returned from a week at Grandpa's.

Now that they are home there is/are more:

1. noise
2. laundry
3. sibling rivalry
4. frustrated parenting
5. messes
6. meal preparation
7. towels left on the floor
8. confusion
9. schedule shuffling
10. work
11. activity
12. questions
13. bad breath
14. stubborness
15. play
16. laughter
17. hugs
18. jokes
19. joy
20. helpers
21. stories
22. and most of all LOVE

Found!

As Buck and I were drifting off to sleep after a rousing Sudoku race (he won as usual), when a loud scuffle outside our door ripped us out of rest back to conciousness. Buck rose to his feet as I murmured, "Could be the cats after Zippo the gerbil."

Yep. Our two cats often aid in Zippo's capture in this noisy way. Honestly, the cats know this guy is our pet; though they give great chase and carry him in their mouths, fortunately they never eat him. Buck joined Patches and Janet on the hunt and caught the little furry creature in the laundry room. Touching a rodent is never an option for me, so I am grateful Buck was home to do the job.

Buck woke up Peace up to share the good news. So neighbors, rejoice with us, we have found our gerbil which was lost.

The State of True Vyne Farm's Union

Hauna did a fantastic job of tending the little farm in our absence. She left a bouquet of bright fresh flowers from my beds on the kitchen counter to greet us. Thoughtful.

Zippo, the gerbil, went missing the day we left and Peace asks prayers we'll find his buddy soon.

While one hen died, brand new chicks were born to a mother hen in the goat barn and followed her peeping until Peace discovered a dead chick, probably stomped by a clumsy goat. Peace placed the chicks in the cozy brooder to ensure their safety. All I can say is, better not get attached to these fluff balls if they happen to grow into onery roosters. The other chicks born around Easter look like awkward and gawky teenagers now.

My garden continues to grow well. However, some melons still haven't sprouted. I need to sow again. The corn, cabbage, and broccoli tender shoots are all nibbled to nubs by something. Could be chickens but I put out slug away, because I see signs of a slug invasion.

Sugar snap peas are in and some cherries burst with red. Peace has been picking and eating right from the tree these last two days. He's also completed a leaf identification project from scouts using a guide all on his own.

I've spent some time weeding and transplanting zinnia sprouts from the walking paths in the garden.

Did I mention we left two boys behind with Grandpa M in South Carolina? Tator, the-boy-who-must-make-loud-noises-at-all-times, is creating mayhem a six hour drive away, so it's very quiet around here with the exception of creature twitters and the occasional little girl sharing treasures she's busily making.

Since energy boy is away, Buck and I have taken on mammoth projects. We're replacing the living room sheet rock on the ceiling damaged by a roof leak thus far unsuccessfully repaired. We're also repairing a ceiling hole made by Buck's knee in our bedroom. Nothing like a project to create a wreck in the house; a fine layer of dry wall dust coats everything below, including me, and there are large rectangles cut from the ceilings above.

Back to work. My to-do list calls.

I fight the same old knot in my stomach each time, though I promised myself many times I will not fret the results. But I always do. Upon resturning from vacation, I spied the envelope among the huge stack of mail. I forced myself to sift through the pile sorting junk, bills, graduation announcements, magazines into piles before I'd allow myself to scrutinize the contents of the dreaded envelope.

Buck casually inquired, "Anything interesting in the mail?"

I gulped and mustered a casual tone, "Homeschool test scores are in."

He nodded, "Well?"

"I haven't the guts to open it yet. You want to?" as I fished the envelope from the bottom of mess of papers spread over my bed.

I steadied my nerves which crashed as his first reaction came forth, "Wow!"

"Wow, good, or Wow, bad?" I clenched my jaw to absorb my tension.

Hesitant pause.

"Buck, good or bad?" I impatiently asked again drumming my fingers on the new Family Fun magazine on my lap.

"A little of both. I don't know what happened with X* science scores, but they are awful. However his reading scores are terrific."

What?! Science of all things? These boys live and breathe science. How the heck could he mess up science?

Buck continued, "We probably need to hold X* back next year and let him catch up overall."

No surprise there, but still a disappointment. Every year I think he's going to make a leap to grade level and beyond, but not this year. Steady gains, but no jump.

X* has made significant progress in some rocky areas like SPELLING. He's at least somewhere near grade level now.

Just so you know, I am the only homeschooler on earth with average (and-gasp-some below average on some subjects) children. Everyone else on the planet earth who homeschools has children who test at college levels in kindergarten.

I think of test scores are my report card for the year. Did we choose the right curriculum? Did our approaches pay off or blow? What about next year? Do I need to work with anyone in particular over the summer?

Do your children's test scores undo you for a bit like they do me? I know many who do not test, but I like to know gains/losses for sure and tests show me whether I like results or not.


*names withheld to protect the innocent

Greemaw and Pooh

Guess where we visited yesterday?

I'm conflicted about the whole Disney thing. On one hand, it's amazing fairy tales and images children love the world over. On the other, well, gag me with a princess crown.

A long time ago, I snuck all the Disney and other twaddle books off the shelves at home to the used bookseller, because I hated to read about a cartoon rather than an excellent story. There's no longer a contest between Blueberries for Sal and Ariel's Vacation with Snow White.

Since Greemaw doesn't live too far, we visited the Magic Kingdom yesterday though every part of me knew the children would love Sea World a million times more. However, I felt it best to let give them the contrast, and also eliminate the therapy session when they become adults, "My parents never did take me to Disney".

By the Teacups

Pooh Bear and Buck waited in the very long line only to have Pooh Bear exclaim her horrendous fear of the ride when they were about to enter a teacup.

Pooh Bear's "Thotful" Spot

Tator Conquers Sword in the Stone

Cinderella Moment

Forgot to mention that I've been begging my mom since visiting the springs to send me to Mermaid Camp held at Weeki Wachee in the spring and summer, since I totally missed the opportunity while growing up.

I'm guessing they might not make tails in my size though.

Perhaps you thought I was making up the camp...
http://mermaid.weekiwachee.com/index.php?module=pagemaster&PAGE_user_op=view_page&PAGE_id=9&MMN_position=8:8

Tator Stares down a mermaid

Wise One

Greemaw and Pooh

Wise One at Sunset

Peace and Pooh Bear at Greemaw's back door

Pooh Bear and Tator