The Eyes Have It

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"Mom, you know how you told me the eyes are the window to the soul?" my son with adoption issues spouted from the seat behind me in the van last night.

I giggled and replied,"Boodle, it's not like I made that one up. That's an old, old saying."

"I know, but I want you to know the thing with the eyes is working," he answered.

Not very many mothers understand why I suddenly had to hide the tears popping out of my eyes dropping onto my gray sweater. Only moms of children in therapy with attachment disordered kids might have an inkling.

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to keep my voice from cracking with overwhelming emotion.

"You know, when we look into each others eyes for therapy (an attachment technique practiced at home and in therapy). When I feel like being a jerk, and I look in your eyes. I see that you really care. And I really don't want to be a jerk to you anymore," he state as a simple fact.

I can't believe he initiated a conversation like that. I think of it as a little miracle- a miracle which comes few and far between the "Mom, you never let me..." and "Mom,you are so unfair!" Those statements may sound like typical teenager, but I know better. I have other typical teenagers here too. There's much more that I can say are behind his mad words. Fear, mostly, but acted out in so many and unbelievably inappropriate ways.

I read a challenge in a book yesterday that went something like this,"Try to really see everyone you meet today as a real person. The waitress, the cashier, the gas station clerk..." I really get it. Perhaps more deeply because my boy is leading me to be the person I want to be.