Those of you who are my Facebook friends already know that I ran over a hen when I pulled into my garage yesterday. She was a beautiful black with white speckled girl with sweet gentle spirit- supposing chickens have spirits. I feel sad that I took her life. I also feel terribly guilty that I wished it was a goofy rooster instead of one of my precious egg layers. Pooh Bear watched her get run over from behind, and Wise One felt the bump just like I did. We all gathered round in horror as she didn't exactly die instantly. The other chickens were swarming to peck the egg which had been squished out of her.
This morning, I cranked one of my favorite songs, "Grace in the Wilderness" by Eoghan Heaslip, had a good cry driving home alone from school drop offs. It may sound silly, but for me, killing a pet who has given of herself to our family is wilderness, and I need the grace to forgive myself. If you don't know Eoghan's work, his worship music hits the sweet spot for me. This song in particular has helped me through the many times I struggle to love well.
I'm going to be okay about this. I really am, but it's going to take a few days to wipe the clean up scene from the front of my brain.
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