Sunday, July 10, 2005

To Be Known

Drink of Him
Drink Again
Saturate the longings of your soul
Today my mind went to that melancholy place of standing in a huge crowd and feeling intensely lonely. I decided loneliness is the vague portion of larger emotion for me. I've worked just now at putting words to that larger feeling.
Maybe it's sheer arrogance, but I'm longing for people I know to who I am, and that I might have a perspective from further down the road. I call from up ahead, "Catch up. Come with me. Fear and complacency lead no where. Don't be satisfied with the mundane. Get bold. Find courage."
When I sense the direction of something moving from best to good, I become unsettled. I experience disappointment when I know potential is untapped or fading.
The truth is I am impatient.
Always running ahead, I miss the very thing in others I want people to see in me- to be known and valued. I want to remember to stare into any person's eyes and really see the whole of them. Is it so hard to find a person's passion, and dwell with them there for a time? Mostly, I'm too self centered to do so, but when I purposely try, I am always amazed.
My middle son taught me a tremendous lesson on this. He kept asking me if he could call and talk to a person we both know and just to talk. In my head, I discounted this person and thought, "That will be a short conversation. He's about as deep as a puddle." My son never thought so, and has had some lengthy chats with this guy. Suddenly, because my son has decided to treat this person as a human with a heart and brain, my nine year old son has a relationship like I have never been able to muster in all the years I've known this man. Why did it take me so long to see that my judgement prevented me from relationship?
Are all humans like me? Does everyone want to be known and valued? Are we all too busy with our own thoughts to SEE one another? I look for the day when we look at each other with deep respect and understanding, and I realize I have to practice the art of seeking another's life myself.

No comments: