Friday, August 18, 2006

techincal blues

Why haven't I blogged lately?

I haven't had time. I've spent every last free moment performing multiple tasks to enable my computer to continue service with the rather unhelpful and unmoveable online-school-who-shall-remain-nameless-for-the-moment. Last weekend, the nameless-and-obviously unconcerned-online-school updated their security which left "a handful" of unimportant and insignificant dial-up homeschoolers coughing in the dust!

Have I mentioned before how very much I'd like to have DSL in my home, but Charter, the only company who would actually came out and survey the prospect, considers my home to be in an inaccesable location? I'm thinking of sticking my three boys in overalls, forcing shovels into their grubby little hands, equipping the trio with a strand of cable a half mile long, handing the rascals a cellphone with the number for Charter on speed dial, then barring the door until I can casually sit at my desk and access the internet through a cable in less than the twinkle of an eye. Don't worry, the working children can drink all they want from the green garden hose, there are plenty of tomatoes in the garden to eat, and they can kill a chicken and cook it over a fire if they develop a need for a protein source while digging to China and back.

OR maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have to commit my boys to a chain gang if the unmentioned-and-currently-extremly- irrtitating-online-school could come up with a simple way for me to log in again. Like, for example, the simple way that existed before their updates last weekend?

As it stands now, I must dial up AOL and then disable the accelerator. To tell the honest truth, before Thursday I didn't know what or where the accelerator was located, but with some quality time spent with a chipper technical help assistant, I got an education. The techie, however, did not inform me that if I disable the accelerator before I log on to AOL, AOL would pitch a hissy fit and toss me offline every five seconds and subsequently would desperately try to reconnect in some vicious circle which lasted as long as the contestant played. (I competed more times than I'd ever like to admit.) Now after the accelerator is disabled, I cruise right onto the online school's website. No problem. The page boast on the best of education, great service, easy access blah, blah, blah. Next I click ols (online school) which may or may not lead me to a log in page. My husband says, "If you stick out your tongue and lift your right foot while pressing the keyboard key, it most likely will work." If the computer gods are with me and in a good mood, I might be able to cheerfully type in my username and password. But here's the major hitch, mostly the page loads, and loads, and loads, and loads, until well, it doesn't really load. Carefully and constantly repeat these steps for between one half to one full hour and maybe my account eventually pops up. Buck thinks pointing at the screen, winking, and yelling at the top of his lungs, "That's what I'm talking about!" enhances the process. I suppose he's right, because it definately gets a giggle from me.

Did I mention that last week, before the online school made updates, the process was quite mundane? Painless even?

I have left a message for a technical supervisor to call me back. I'm quite certain this will have absolutely no effect, but when I mention my highly public blog disclosing the name of his company, that'll get some action, boy howdy!


tonia/sparrow said...


One of my priorities when we were property-shopping was high-speed internet access! Does that make me a bad person? :)

truevyne said...

It makes you smart! Over three years ago when we moved here, I didn't have enough sense to think about future technology, and our likelihood to be left behind.