Who am I?

It occured to me today I have two books interesting me this summer which are antithetical to one another. I hesitate to mention the title of either, because mostly people would find one or the other completely offensive. However, I'm finding jewels hidden among piles of coal and rubble as I read. Should the authors meet face to face (and this would never happen) I doubt they could even muster civility to one another. One is a book on feminist theology and the other on the wife's subordiance to the husband. Why don't the books sitting one on top of the other, try to tear each other's pages out in a furious rage? How can I find either of value?
I could easily split the people I know along the lines of who would agree with which book, but the truth is.... I see most operating in both spheres just like I do. The women who vocalize most about being under their husband's authority tend toward acting with most authority in the home. The women who vocalize most about feminism tend toward being the most needy. Strange isn't it?
Women I admire put action behind their words. Both authors live out what they believe. Women I know and admire do the same. I have strong opinions. but from these two books, I see I have more work to do in both. I want to see justice for the oppressed, and I know this includes women. I want to have intimacy and vulnerability with my best friend only found in loving him better than myself.
So who am I?