Saturday, May 02, 2009

I have terribly mixed feelings now that my son with attachment issues has made the football team at his school. On one hand, he could be an unbelievable athlete. On the other, he self sabotages himself at every turn. The two weeks before football try-outs he was incredibly difficult to live with at home. His non-stop chatter and arguing became unbearable.

The next part of this post requires a bit of explanation. The Big Six are Tater's primary therapeutic home work:
fun to be around
fast and snappy
right the first time
mom and dad's way

I bet when a person not involved with an attachment disordered child reads this lofty list, one might think, "Outrageous! Kids can't always do those things." And that is right. Perfection is not required, just reflection on "a good way." When asked by his attachment therapist this week, how was he keeping to The Big Six on a scale of 1-10, he said, "Seven or Eight". I turned my burning face away and bit my tongue nearly in half. Buck and I had agreed before in a private conversation together that a 4 on that scale would have been generous. Obviously, self reflection is not this son's strong suit.

Buck and I have debated privately about the school's requirement of a 2.0 gpa as an incredibly low standard, especially for Tater. The boy is brilliant yet entirely wrapped up in survival that it hinders his studies. We do not find it wise to let our son eek by with a "C" average when we know without a doubt he's honor roll material. Buck contacted the football coach before try-outs and stated that we would not allow our son to practice or play if he had any grades below a "C".
Buck urged the coach to tell us not to let him try out if he did not agree. Then Tater's report card yesterday revealed he was not passing social studies, because he turned in assignments late and incomplete at times. Not a surprise to me since our therapist insisted we not remain Tater's homework slaves, and I know that excellent teacher gives lots of homework. He just can't get all social studies homework done on the fly like he may be able to do for other subjects. You'd think the boy would have run home from school and hit his upcoming social studies project with a vengeance to raise his grade. Instead he's been outside shooting baskets in the rain and riding his sister's scooter though I recommended otherwise. It's something I will never understand.

We'll see how it goes and pray that this football opportunity will raise him to a higher level of thinking.


Anonymous said...

I will pray for progress,not perfection (as we do w/Maggs...)
Love to all!
Auntie S

truevyne said...

Good prayer, Auntie S!

Thicket Dweller said...

True, you could be writing about Houdin, truly. Maybe you and I can dialog via e-mail, or do you do facebook? I could use a "shoulder."

truevyne said...

Yes, get in touch! I'm on facebook and I think we've exchanged emails before- truevyneataoldotcom