How to Dress for a Holiday Party

I half listened as my dear husband phoned the art (pronounced "ot") museum to ask about appropriate attire required for the Christmas Gala tonight. I am not sure what the poor woman on the other end of the line said exactly, but my eyes widened as I noticed Buck dried off his front teeth and put on his best country bumpkin' voice to chortle, "Ya' mean I should wear my very *best* overalls? With a shirt?"

Pause for the fine lady's response- something concerning "No jeans."


Undaunted, Buck continues, "Did you mean my WIFE? She weren't puttin' on no blue jean overhauls. She's already picked out a really festive red sequined tube top and is agonna wear it with her matchin' green hotpants. She'll look mighty Christmasy puttin' on her gold ball Christmas ornaments for earrings."

Pause for God knows how the sophisticated and cultured woman might answer such a comment.

Buck cleared his throat, "My name? My name is uuhhh....it's uhhh....it's ummmm...Steve(lie). See you there tonight. You'll recognize me and my purty wife as soon as you see us I reckon."