Monday, February 20, 2006

Do your eyes light up?

Today I was profoundly moved for a second time by a statement revisited on Oprah. Okay, please snicker at me if you want for still liking, yes admiring her work over twenty years. Maybe she isn't cool anymore for trendy folks or conservative enough for other tight individuals, but Oprah is a hero to me. It's obvious to me she may not have arrived, but she's moving forward on a journey to be her best self. And I've grown myself from watching that process.

Mind you, I do not watch her show every day or every week even, but now and then I catch an bit or piece.

Anyway, the show went back to an interview with Toni Morrison. If you are unfamiliar with Morrison's work The Bluest Eye, then I strongly urge you to put that next on your reading queue (if you are up to staring harsh tradegy in the face with Toni). What Toni told Oprah in the interview hit the mark on my soul, again. She asked something like, "When a child, your own or another, walks into the room, do your eyes light up? Or do you keep a bothered look on your face? They feel that as harshness directed at them. Children find love or not in their caregivers faces. What expression do you wear?"

Gracious. I spend too much of my day rolling my eyes, drawing my mouth up tight, pointing at the disturbance of my peace, then huffing, "Who left these legos in the middle of the living room floor?" or "Why can't you put your cup in the sink instead of always leaving it on the counter?" "Your room looks like a disaster. Don't ask for dessert until it's picked up." "Put your laundry AWAY, not on top of the dresser." "Quiet! Take that boy energy outside!"

Do my eyes light up when I look at my child?

Not enough.

It takes great effort for me to lay down my crowded agenda to look my child squarely in the eyes with a loving sparkle he longs for from his busy mom.

Tonight, and hopefully many to follow, I will be conscious to let love show in my eyes. I will stop and pet the cat Peace holds right in front of my face. When I pet that feline at my son's request, it's nurture to my son's spirit. When my daughter asks me to watch yet another dance, I will stop and admire her moves until she bows. I will listen to Wise One's dream about dinosaurs sleeping in his bed with him. I will cook with Tator tonight, because he want's to learn how to make fried rice. It's all love and all good.


unquenchableworshipper said...

you did take your daughter on errands with you because only MOMMY would do today. =-)

Hope said...

I remember on the Oprah show sometime in the last few weeks she had Faith Hill and Tim McGraw on and she said that she could tell they were the real deal because of how his eyes lit up when he looked at his wife. That spoke to me too and made me think.

truevyne said...

Hope, so true!

Kate said...

Ahhh - so convicting!

thicket dweller said...

My. I empathize completely and know it's true. But I can't seem to stop myself from being so pessimistic. Help?

truevyne said...

Kate, convicting for me too.

Thicket, when I'm out of all the hope I can muster, I return to the monastic principle of seeing each moment as an opportunity to begin again. Throw out all the "I've already blown it todays" and grab this very moment and say, "Starting right now, I will look (name one child) with 'you are a treasure, a gift in my life'eyes.'"
If that child knocks his brother over or pulls his sister's hair shortly after, and "What an awful child I have!" fleets across your mind,(and am I not well acquainted with this thought?) then seize the following moment, "That child is a blessing even when he isn't acting like one."
God's mercy is new every morning, every moment we falter.

And man, don't I wish I lived well what I preach.

Philothea Rose said...

This quote hit me as well!

I also think Oprah does much good.