Monday, February 27, 2006

Over the weekend I went on retreat. It was peaceful with a few moments of self discovery. Quite removed from all retreat topics, I realized I am a racehorse, especially when I'm emersed in a creative project. I love to jump headlong into tasks and keep running until I'm sweating, breathing hard, and blissfully tuckered out. To my disgrace, I tend to run roughshod over obstacles along the way. Sadly, this might include my dear husband or children most often. Also, I might not take the time to really just be with others, since I always have an agenda rolling around inside my head. I know enough to be on the lookout for these flaws in myself, and in fact, I recognized I surround myself with a bunch of pasture people who cause me to slow down for strolls in the fields or to stand completely still in the quiet with the sun on my back. It also occured to me that there is purpose in choosing a home literally surrounded by rolling hills, trees, pasture. I need and seek down time even though I'm made to race madly. This has been so since I was a child. I remember studying for as long as I could sit still with my nose in a book, and then crave a way to burn through built up racehorse energy, like run outside, stretch out my arms wide and spin wildly around in circles till I fell flat on the grass. In college, I'd study, run, study, put on loud music and dance around, study, go get the mail, study, draw or paint, study, walk to the store. Burst of creativity followed by a physical release. With the realization of this pattern of behavior, I think I can avoid running over folks if I am sure to include both creation and physical exertion in my day. If I have thinking time and skip movement, I think I'd be at risk to bite someone's head off to burn off the leftover energy.
Anyhow, I wonder how this spins for you. How are you made? Are you a
pasture or racehorse type? Or maybe a dog, cat, or beaver when it comes to work?


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