Thursday, July 05, 2007

I am anxious. I wish I wasn't. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Tater leaves for France this afternoon. He's the kind of person who can't sleep if anything at all is going on, and the flight is so very long and the other delegate children he finds very interesting. There'll be fun people everywhere everyday at camp. I worry he'll tell people he drinks coffee at home all the time, (he has had a few tastes in his lifetime) and he'll burn his engines past exhaustion on a caffeine high. The more tired he becomes the more unreasonable. Yesterday, he tested all of our family with some blatant disrespect before our guests arrived for our big July 4th wing ding. He missed some serious friend time as a result, and I hope his leaders are able to keep him in the road if necessary. I woke up several times in the night thinking about the Euros and host family gifts I hadn't purchased yet. I'm not a good procrastinator for this very reason. Thankfully Buck and Tater are taking care of these things this morning.
His first host family sent a lovely email this morning with pictures and lots of details to give us all comfort and ease. What a kind gesture.
But how do I say goodbye for an entire month? I'm holding back tears just thinking about it. In so many ways, he's made for this, but I'm a train wreck letting go. He's a very lovey guy, and I'll miss his tight hugs and his incredibly energetic being. I will not miss his arguing nature, but I actually worry if I'll subconsciously resent the return of it after so much time without.
Enough whining. I need to skip off here, read some encouraging words like "Do not worry about your life. What you will eat or drink...Consider the lilies of the field. They do not toil or spin...", and go for a nice long run. Perhaps these things will take the edge off.

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