Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I wish it wasn't so, but this year, before homeschooling even begins, I'm dreading it. There are a variety of reasons, but bottom line is that I feel worn out. This will be my seventh year, so maybe it's human nature screaming, "Sabbatical!" at me. However, I don't have time for that. For me, at this time, homeschooling is a commitment more than anything. I don't get to take a year off cooking, laundry, marriage or parenting simply because I feel worn out. When any those things gets overwhelming, I seek God's help, and so I shall with home school. In the meantime, before inspiration, I drag.

This summer break, I've gotten my home in order- lotsa painting and decluttering. This makes me feel settled and peaceful, and it helps me feel together enough to collect my scholastic thoughts.

While preparing my teaching plans, I realized some of the essential language arts books are missing, so I must wait until the company I've ordered from gets me the correct texts. So far, I messed up my order once, and the company has sent the wrong items three times. Sigh. The weeks of back and forth with them do not help my lagging attitude.

I actually considered putting my children in school next year and quickly changed my mind when I heard a story from our neighborhood school. A friend told me her daughter spent her fourth grade year in class with at least two eleven year old girls are sexually active. I am of the strong opinion that a sexually active eleven year old is another word for sexually abused. Why, oh, why doesn't someone do something on behalf of these children? Who could know about this and not be considered an accomplice to child abuse? Why isn't the Department of Human Resources investigating, because the school wouldn't allow these things to happen?

Please, don't get the idea that I home school, because I'm afraid this would happen to my children. I don't think it would, because my children are appropriately puzzled by children who come from chaotic homes. I am not interested in the exposure and further innocence lost in a particular school not working diligently against child abuse. If you think differently and need to set me straight, bring it on.

My reasons for homeschooling at this point come from responsibility to four little people whom I love dearly even though I don't feel like doing so at present. Feelings pass, and I pray the results of my commitment win in the end.

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