Tuesday, January 31, 2006


Sometimes the tough girl in me flies out like angery wet bees from a hive.

My workout buddy, Celine and I headed to a local park to run our 5K after a few weights this morning. When we arrived at the park, a red compact car circled the parking lot. Weird. When the car slowed down and crept too close for comfort alongside us on the parking side of the track, Celine and I agreed we might need to get out of there lickety split. I did not want to be intimidated give up my favorite local running course, so I prepared her for my plan, "I'll run on the outside and fight like hell if that window or car door opens a pinch."

Celine quips, "Yeah, kick 'em to death with your good knee." We've both had ACL knee reconstruction. Isn't she funny?

I continued between running gasps, "You may hear words pop out of my mouth you were sure I didn't know. I intend to scare those goons away with all I got if they come for us. I've done it before." Yes, years ago I turned the proverbial livid Jerry Springer guest who just found out my baby daddy was messing around with my very best girlfriend, when two young men bolted out of their car to beat up my husband for almost crashing into my husband. I know that makes no sense, but the arrogant boys had some sort of road rage to blame on Buck. I confronted the rascals as I stood with the proud erectness of a peacock, swirled a pointed index finger in the air with the other hand firmly planted on my hip and surprised myself by spitting loudly, "What on earth do you think you are doing? You think YOU are coming after MY husband? Get your skinny explitives back in your car and drive, NOW." The stunned young men obeyed the wicked witch I'd become in a quick hurry. I can't explain how I could possibly overcome rude boys looking for a fight, but on very special occasions, I can channel something meaner than a curled cornered cobra. And I was willing to take down the red car creeps today at the park.

Once Celine and I reached our vehicles I reached deep under my seat and pulled out my.....
cell phone and called the police. In my best fair maiden voice I explained the situtation to 911 dispatch, but inside I maintained the roaring lion necessary to vanquish the demons following us.

As two police cars crested the hill of the park, my cell phone gave a comforting "Doodle, doodle, do". I didn't know cell phones were smart enough to say, "Look, the police are here to save the day!" Did you? Multiple squad cars hemmed in the red car. Whoa... I just expected the bad boys to simply scurry on outta there when they saw the cops.

Celine and I did not want to be associated with the arrival of the cops, so we kept running the track, hoping for an opportunity to thank them later. The officers had one man spread eagle on the trunk of the car, and the other got a rather long talking to. At the end of our miles, Celine and I walked an extra lap to find all the cars gone.

Just so you know, if you happen to meet me, and I think you just might be up to no good- watch out! The raving maniac just under the surface of my skin might leap out and wildly rip at your throat...or maybe I'll just call the police.


unquenchableworshipper said...

you know, honey.. I could have taken those guys that almost ran into me.. Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!

SmileDragon said...

Wow, standing up to two young guys ready for a fight, I'm imressed. No wonder you don't need/want a gun.

SmileDragon said...

impressed, sorry.